Unexpected Hiatus

If projects were people, mine would have abandonment issues.

I haven’t been on this blog for, what, one monthΒ and I am ashamed. I keep trying new things and don’t ever finish what I’ve started. I was really hoping that this blog would be different. Why? Cause it was suppose toΒ  be about books and I LOVE books and I love to read! But, as usual, I allowed life to get in the way of doing things that I love.

My first excuse was that my laptop broke down. (R.I.P Lappy) but it’s not really an excuse when you’ve got access to an ipad, right?

My second excuse was that I was so busy doing things at home, but if you really love doing something, you’d make time to do it no matter what.

And my third excuse? Well, I don’t really have one. I procrastinated, to be honest. I would read and read and read and I would keep telling myself, ‘I have to do a review on this book!’ but I just never really got around to it.

Well now ladies and gents, I have a whole new computer!

Computer

I pretty much set it up myself πŸ˜€ (not that there was much to set up to begin with) and now I have no excuse not to be posting on this blog. I have an entire month again before school begins and I need to stop procrastinating my life away.

I am also thinking of making this blog more than just about books. Maybe a few personal posts on life and whatever else may come my way.

So, here; have a random chicken from my grandmother’s yard

random chicken

AndΒ wish me luck and I hope you will stick around and enjoy (^w^)

-Ellie ΖΈΜ΅Μ‘ΣœΜ΅Μ¨Μ„Ζ·

Feeling guilty?

Have you ever come across a book that you just couldn’t get into? Maybe it’s not what you expected, maybe it’s not your cup of tea or maybe, dare I say, it’s boring?

And you try your best to get into it, you tell yourself that maybe it gets better the more you read, but something in your mind is begging you to stop reading because it’s just not captivating. There is no omph you usually get with other books. There is nothing grabbing your attention and keeping it there.

So you stop reading it for a while. A break from the book.

“It’s probably because I’m still in the last book I read.” You tell your. But hours turn into days, and days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months before you pick it up again!! And you still can’t get into it!!

Okay, I was being really dramatic there, but you get the idea.

See, I’m supposed to be reading “The Dead-Tossed Waves” by Carrie Ryan, but I just can’t seem to make it any further than fifty pages. I have to admit it’s a bit boring. But I made this promise to myself that no matter how terrible, or how boring, or how tedious the book may be, I will read it till the end.

And I’ve read worst books than this one, trust me. So why can’t I read this one?

And what bothers me the most is the guilt I feel for not making the effort to read it out. I know how silly and possibly insane it sounds but it’s the truth. I feel guilty if I don’t finish a book that I’ve started.

I swear, it taunts me! Like it knows the promise I’ve made to read any book from cover to cover!

Ridiculous, right?

So I pick up another book, “Enthralled” a collection of short paranormal stories by various authors, and I’m totally into it, but at the back of my mind I feel like I’m cheating on Carrie Ryan with another author!

Have I mentioned that I am possibly insane? No?
Well, now you know. (I’m not really. I just have an over active imagination…lol…)

So, yeah. Does anyone feel like that? Or am I the only one? (I’m probably the only one…. Oh well)

-Ellie Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ

What reading/books do for me.

I think too much. I think all the time. I don’t ever stop thinking. I think before I go to sleep, I think as soon as I wake up, I just don’t. Stop. Thinking. It drives me crazy because I try to connect everything and everyone to some action or event or the other and my head just keeps going and going like the energizer bunny!

But it’s different when I read. I get so lost among the pages of a good book that it gives me a break from my mind. I focus on what’s happening in the book. I mean, it’s not perfect because I still stop every now and then to think about what I just read, but it’s not as intense and that’s good enough for me. And that’s what reading does for me. It takes me away from me, from the mess that is my mind, from the never ending thought trains rushing around in my head.

I use to self harm and I was suicidal… Reading was, and still is, my lifesaver when I feel I’m drowning in my depression or when I feel like crumpling to the ground; reading and books help me get up. It lets me know that I’m not alone with my thoughts, that I can swim above all the negativity in my head and take a breath. I’ve been on antidepressants and in therapy for two years but there’s nothing like curling up in a warm bed with a good book and just losing yourself in a healthy way.

I just wanted to get this out there. Again, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. A question came to mind; what is there to live for? Besides family, I told myself that I would live to read. To experience the natural high and good feel of finding a good book and getting lost in it. To listen to authors talk about their works. I know there is much more to live for, but reading is at the top of my list. I love it. And I hope to one day to pass this love of reading to my children. Or to even people who feel the way I do.

Reading gives hope. What does it do for you?

-Ellie Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ

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